I thought Dubai was trying to create tourist resorts? Can’t think of a worse advert. These people are essentially cave dwelling desert nomads from the bronze age who no one would have heard of if not for our oil addiction. Another failed former colony of the British.

An institution like the EU is always going to be vulnerable to bigots and idiots in large numbers. The EU is also often viewed as an impediment to big business. Their values are not the same and I’m glad about that.

Stylish and protected, nice combo

Anglophones do be loving their cars but the real problem is cyclists riding on pavements. Have you got any idea how dangerous that is? Only the other day I took a picture of my pumpkin spiced latte and caused a multiple pedestrian pile up.

The French show us the correct path.

We spend more in healthcare in our last year of life than we do in our the rest of our lives combined.

Why are we spending a fortune proping up these old wrecks when their quality of life is already shit?

It’s the topic nobody wants to talk about. We want to live in the fantasy land where we can keep going forever.

It didn’t sound like that to me. Americans meddling in other countries is par for the course.

Former colonial powers are accused of doing colonial stuff again. Obviously China is the bad guy for attempting to prevent this violation.

‘Lone wolf’ like the time Assange embarrassed the Americans with evidence of their crimes and a rape victim magically appears only to disappear again seven years later. The Americans are the real global terrorist organisation.

Carrying a huge rucksack which makes an odd ticking noise.

The Americans are the sinister and mendacious psychopaths of international diplomacy. It’s much less nuanced and not very interesting.

Iranian diplomacy operates along the lines of a Jinn. Every move feels like a Faustian bargain. You ask the Jinn for a giant penis and it gives you a giant penis attached to your head, then disappears in a puff of smoke.

They like to cha-cha real smooth. But not too smooth.

Thanks NASA

Space x was handed NASA research, knowledge base and state handouts. Must be nice having those type of friends.

It’s all part of the NHS War On Mental Health. The plan is remove treatments that conservatives don’t believe in because they can’t see them. They will take those savings and use them to extend the lives of terminally ill people in persistent vegetative states because life is sacred and needs to be protracted and painful.

I would like to purchase one crime please

I humbly offer my impregnation services to South Korean wamman.

Incredible that military equipment gets destroyed during a war, who woulda thunk it?

Woah. That was not transphobic. It was a call back to the great Fatima Whitbread. Perhaps you are too young to remember the unusually masculine Whitbread hurl a javelin further than 99% of men.