Liberals.

That reminds me of the old expression “a sucking chest wound is Nature’s Way of telling you you’ve been in a firefight.” I think Sun Tzu said that but I’m not sure.

My favorite is still the killer whales capsizing rich people’s sailboats. Although that would have been even better if the orcas had eaten the free snacks.

As someone who grew up in the '80s, no single person has ever disappointed me as much as Bono.

Don’t forget Al “I invented the Internet” Gore. What actually happened was: Al Gore as a young senator was shown ARPANET, the precursor to the Internet. He then wrote the High Performance Computing Act of 1991 which led to the creation of the Internet as we know it today. During the 2000 presidential election cycle, he gave an interview in which he stated that he “took the initiative in creating the Internet” – a perfectly reasonable claim that went unremarked upon at the time. Months later, Bush advisor Karl Rove dug up the interview and orchestrated a smear campaign through which Gore was supposed to have claimed to have “invented the Internet” and the rest is history.

Democrats do not sabotage their careers by yelling weirdly or being photographed with their tiny heads sticking out of tanks. They are assassinated (just politically, usually) by a savage and ruthless enemy.

I would call CS linguistics

I got out of taking any languages classes in college because Computer Science classes (of which I took exactly one, Pascal) satisfied the requirement. It’s fucking rubbish to imagine learning a programming language is anything like learning a real human language. If there is any similarity at all, it’s like learning Esperanto.

Technically, their profession is “Saudi ball-cleaner”.

“If I told you once, Chris, I told you a thousand times: slaves go in the other direction.”

Wow, imagine if Quentin Tarantino mixed up “film” and “firm”: “hello HR? Yes, the entire company.”

get their plates and a photo

Guy had 97 priors including DUIs. Doubtful that the truck had a valid registration/license plate with a traceable address.

I used to disc golf with a dude who had multiple DUIs and finally went to jail for it for 18 months. The fucking day he got out he bought a cheap used car, slapped an old out-of-state license plate on it, and went right back to driving around drunk as shit.

Cop tried bumping the truck on a fucking two-lane road with a car coming the opposite way. Holy Cheez-its.

My small (~100 employee) company that had nothing to with hardware got bought by a somewhat larger (~1500) mostly-Finnish company that was sort of a competitor with the much larger Cisco. Cisco bought that company and six months later laid off all of us except the C-suite types. I occasionally still talk to my manager who is still with Cisco and he says everyone he interacts with there is so far removed from any consideration of products or profits or that sort of thing that it never even comes up in casual conversation. I asked him what he actually does now and he said “I have no idea”.

My favorite memory of that six months was the mandatory security training, which consisted of a series of badly-animated shorts featuring talking bears and a narrator who was clearly ready to kill himself over having to say “personally-identifiable information” over and over and over again.

TBF we (the US) were technically neutral prior to December 1941 but we traded like crazy with the British and engaged in all sorts of neutrality violations like repairing British warships in US ports. Hell, Lend-Lease was us just straight up giving war materiel to Britain and the USSR. We were even fighting a de facto war with Germany in the Atlantic.

How do we know that car isn’t being removed by the TSA?

How does he smell?

It’s Iran’s terrority, and Iran is defending it after being attacked…

Reminds me of an old cartoon. Teacher is separating two boys who were fighting and says “Billy, who started the fight?” Billy answers “Tommy started it! He hit me back!”

The current trend is to imprison corrupt dictators

The current trend is to let them keep golfing and selling their merch.

He’d flee to Russia or Saudi Arabia before seeing any jail time in the US – not that I expect any of those outcomes. Just as a point of interest: Idi Amin lived the remainder of his syphilis-ridden life in Saudi Arabia after he was deposed in Uganda.

You show me a dictatorship and I’ll show you a boat filled with penis-shaped potatoes.

Speaking as a bald man, I would like to have his hair. For bonus points, it would be kinda fun to watch it being taken from him.