“Alright, that’s it! It’s super-duper double-dog war times infinity, no backsies!”

I still got my fingers crossed for a Young Indiana Jones Chronciles/How I Met Your Mother-style framing device where it’s Billy Dee Williams and horse girl cruising the galaxy in the Falcon, with the whole flashback to young Glover Lando as some old fisherman’s tale he’s telling that’s clearly being embellished in his favor

I only purchased this toothbrush because that was the only way to get the water-resistant Entertainment Center/Speaker/Corporate Surveillance Device for the one room in my house that is the least comfortable, has the worst acoustics, and has the strongest expectation of privacy, and also I can’t just put a regular Alexa in like a plastic bag or something because I blew my plastic bag budget on a fucking app-controlled toothbrush or whatever the fuck this is supposed to be, jesus christ

I’m leaning Sith right now if only because Jason Qimir started in on “peace is a lie” for that split-second.

I do think “philosophical beef” is probably the right answer, though. Because if some random orphan, taking Forcin’ classes part-time on a beach with some shady-lookin’ drifter, can not only match but surpass a Jedi master in a Force-off… That’s gotta do some serious damage to the Order’s reputation, right? Especially if it comes out that the Jedi specifically failed to train her identical twin? Imagine you’re one of the parents whose child went off with the Jedi because it was the “best way to realize their cosmic destiny”, never to see them again because the order drills “attachments are spiritual poison” into their heads from childhood, and suddenly you find out that, basically, homeschooling was an option the whole time? Now you start thinking maybe those “enlightened peacekeepers” training your kid to “harness their spiritual potential” might just be… kidnapping children and indoctrinating them into their weird death-cult to raise a galaxy-spanning theocratic paramilitary with a forced monopoly on psychic phenomena, against which the common denizen has no defense — who are, incidentally, hoarding all knowledge pertaining to their Order’s history, philosophy, training, and religious practice on inscrutable magic prisms that only they know how to open and read, which they keep in a locked vault in the back of their heavily-guarded stronghold. Trust in the Jedi erodes, maybe folks are a little more hesitant to send the youngsters off to Force Camp, and the Jedi Order either stagnates without new recruits or they start taking drastic measures which will, of course, only erode the public trust more, rinse and repeat until the Jedi go exctinct, and the Sith kick back with a couplea space brewskis and have a grand ol’ chuckle. “Kills the dream” indeed.